Carson Jr. (AKA My boy!)

After a crazy week of partial placenta abruption, hypertension, irregular contractions, lots of tears, and lots of love My beautiful nephew was born into this big crazy world. 

I have never in my life wanted to be home as much as I do right now.

I am so thankful for technology. 

When my sister was in labor and getting ready to push my mom was able to call me. I was able to be in northern Newfoundland and be in Nova Scotia at the same time. 

I was able to listen to my sister bring life into this world. 

I was able to hear the silence when he came out with his cord around his neck multiple times. I was able to here the anxiety in the room that was there while waiting for him to take his first breath. I was able to hear the cries of relief when he did. 

Within minutes I was send a few pictures of my beautiful 8.4 lbs boy. 

Mind you this all took place while I was at work. So not only did I hear this all but my co-workers were all waiting in anticipation all day long and witnessed me bawling while hearing this all take place. My co workers where there celebrating with me. It was amazing.

So here are a few pictures, taken from my family of course!

Big Sister getting ready to meet her "Brodder"

Kisses!

Nanny (AKA my mom)

First kisses!

Big boy!

Great Gramma Reid (AKA my nan) 

Hailie:

You did amazing! You are a rock star. Soon enough you will be home with your babies. Your strength blows me away. I love you so much! I hope your birthday was everything you wanted it to be this year. Happy Birthday!

<3

This is the kind of day it is today.

Old sweater wearing.

No showers.

Headband wearing.

Couch laying.

Glee watching.

waiting for the phone to ring.

Missing home.

Kind of day.

So long live the dreaded old bleach-stained-hole-invested-tear-stained sweater

Provision!

I am going to be really transparent in this post because God is so so good.

I have always, for as long as I can remember, wanted to go to university. When I was in grade 12 I was faced with the fact that I might not have been able to afford to go to university. My family was classed as a middle to low income family, which translates into my family not being able to afford to live and help pay for university for me. Which is totally fine, I respect my degree more because I have had to work to pay for it. In grade 12 I did not know if I would qualify for student loans so it was a fear that I wouldn't be able to go to University. 

So low and behold in grade twelve I worked my but off at school and got a number of scholarships and bursaries to help pay for school. I also qualified for student loans. So thus began my four years of university.

The entire four years I was consistently worrying about money, and where the next amount would come from. Over and over again God provided money exactly when I needed it, whether it was through bursaries, gifts, a job, and even more money than expected from student loans. over and over again I was humbled by the grace of God and his provision.

As I entered the second half of my senior year I began to worry about paying back the student loan now that I had a degree to work with. I was worrying about getting a job, and making enough money to live and pay back my student loans. I have been praying since grade 12 about this time. Praying for wisdom, provision, and grace. 

Since graduation in May I Have been blessed with an amazing job (in the middle of no where) with benefits and it is a full time permeant position. The fact that I have a nursing job is awesome but the fact that it is permanent full time is even better. Not only did God provide me a job but he made it a permanent one. AMAZING.

So I moved to this town and moved into my apartment with very little furniture. Now living in such a small town makes buying furniture and other necessary house items difficult because it is so expensive. So again I prayed for provision and wisdom in how to spend my money. And again God provided me with second hand furniture at a much cheaper price. again AMAZING.

Here I sit in my fully furnished, minus a desk and shelf I still want (praying), which cost me significantly less then if I had to buy everything new. 

My thoughts over the last few days have returned to the huge amount of debt that I know is hanging over my head. As in I owe $58,766.00 to the government and to a bank. That is a lot of money. So as you can imagine I have continued to pray over this number and that I will be able to pay it off in a decent about of time. As I said this number has been at the back of my mind every day now for well over a week. 

Ready for the exciting news?

Are you sure?

Well, Yesterday I went to the post office and collected my mail. typical right?. In my mail their was indeed a letter from the government about my loans and load repayment. So I open this mail and start reading. 

"Dear Tiffany Halliday, Congratulations.." 

ummm okay on what?

"You have been approved for the Nova scotia Debt Cap award".

WHAT??

Yes, you read that correctly. With this debt cap, and a bursary that I received, I now only owe in total $37,736.00. 

WHATTT. 

Yes that is a difference of $21,030.00

$21,030.00 

ummm. really.

Guess what? That is not all. The canadian government is starting an initiative to get more health care professions to go to and stay in rural communities throughout Canada in 2013. Long story short you have to work in a town with a population less than 50,000 people, check. You have to work there for a year, will be a check. And they will give you up to $4000 every year for 5 years to a maximum of $20,000 back on your student loans. 

HELLO. This is crazy. So there is a chance that I will qualify for the about initiative and have even more money taken off of my current student loan debt.

My final words: God is so much bigger than me! 

Coffee date?

If you lived close to me we would have a coffee date. 

It would most likely end up being at one of your houses, because this little town has no coffee shops, unless you count Timmy hoes. 

We would sit facing one another on my couch, cup of coffee, or hot chocolate with whipped cream of course, in hand. 

I would start by asking you how your week went.

You would tell me about your week, the good and the bad.

I would ask how I could be praying for you, and what I could be doing to build you up.

You would then ask me how I was doing. 

I would tell you that I am finding it hard to fit in to this little town, but I know that I am meant to be here. 

I would tell you that I know God has plans for me, and that this town is definitely a part of those plans.

I would tell you that I am going to be starting on the maternity floor in 2.5 weeks. 

I would tell you that this both excites me and terrifies me.

I would tell you I am excited because it is my dream to work with mom's and babies, and I am excited to be back in an area where I feel fully comfortable. 

I would tell you that I am nervous to meet yet another crew of co-workers who I feel like I need to impress. 

I would tell you I am afraid of making a fool out of myself.

I would tell you that it makes me more nervous to work with people my own age because i feel like they judge more.

I would tell you that I am afraid my co-workers with think I am an idiot and won't like me.

I would tell you that I am nervous to start working in the acute care setting in this town which seems to be behind (technologically, and in every other sense) the rest of the country by about 5 years. 

I would tell you that I want nothing more than to be a light in a world of darkness.

I would tell you that I have been looking into how much it will cost me to fly home. 

I would tell you that it will cost me more money than it should.

I would tell you that I want to surprise a few people.

I would tell you that people should never underestimate me.

I would tell you that I want to build people up.

I would tell you that I have been struggling with putting my worth in places it shouldn't be put.

I would tell you that I needed you now more than ever before.

I would tell you that I have an addiction to pinterest.

You would laugh at me, and tell me that my pinterest wedding is awesome!

We would laugh.

We would pray for one another and it would be awesome.

What would you tell me?

Do it again sometime soon?